Uncover Your North Star: How Core Values Guide You

Have you ever felt like something was off, but couldn’t quite put your finger on why? Maybe you’ve said “yes” to a commitment that left you feeling drained or conflicted, or taken a path that didn’t sit right with you. More often than not, these feelings stem from acting in ways that clash with your core values—the guiding principles that shape who you are and what truly matters to you.

But here’s the kicker: most of us go through life without really identifying our core values. Sure, we know when we feel aligned or misaligned, but unless we take the time to name and understand our values, it’s easy to end up making choices that don’t support our best selves.

Your core values are the deeply held beliefs that authentically describe your soul.

~ John C. Maxwell ~

So, why do they matter?

Core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your behaviours, decisions, and goals. They’re like your internal compass—helping you navigate choices, set priorities, and stay true to yourself. When you live in alignment with your core values, life feels meaningful and energised. When you don’t, things can feel frustrating, aimless, or just plain “off.”

 For example, if “creativity” is one of your core values, working in a rigid, uncreative environment might feel stifling. On the other hand, if “security” is a top value, you might thrive in a stable job with clear boundaries and expectations.

How to Identify Your Core Values

Identifying your core values takes a little introspection. It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion to find what’s at your core. Here’s how to get started:

1. Reflect on Peak Experiences

Think back to moments when you felt truly happy, fulfilled, or proud. What made those moments meaningful? Was it the connection with others, the sense of accomplishment, or the freedom to be yourself? These experiences often point to your core values.

1. Notice Patterns in Your Frustrations

Now flip the coin. When have you felt upset, disappointed, or out of sync? Frustrations can often reveal when a core value is being violated. For instance, if lack of honesty in a relationship really gets under your skin, transparency or trust might be a core value for you.

1. Use a Core Values List

Sometimes, seeing a list of potential values can help. Take some time to review a comprehensive list of values (e.g., honesty, freedom, growth, family, adventure, kindness) and write down the ones that resonate with you. Narrow it down to 5–10 that feel most essential.

1. Ask the Big Questions

• What motivates me to get out of bed in the morning?

• What do I stand for?

• If I had to choose just three words to describe my ideal self, what would they be?

1. Prioritise and Test Your Values

Once you’ve identified your top values, rank them in order of importance. Then, ask yourself: Are these values showing up in my daily life? Are my current choices and goals aligned with them? 

Living in Alignment with Your Core Values

Identifying your values is only half the journey. The real magic happens when you start living in alignment with them. Here’s how:

1. Use Your Values as a Decision-Making Filter
   Before saying “yes” to something, ask yourself: Does this align with my values? For instance, if “family” is a top value, does taking on that extra project at work honour or detract from your time with loved ones?

2. Set Boundaries
   Living in alignment often means saying “no” to things that don’t fit your values—even if it’s uncomfortable. Protecting your time, energy, and integrity is key.

3. Reassess Regularly
   Your core values might evolve as you grow and change. Check in with yourself periodically to make sure they still feel true to who you are.

Final Thoughts

Living a life true to your core values doesn’t happen by accident. It’s an intentional process of reflection, choice, and alignment. But the reward is worth it: a life that feels authentic, purposeful, and uniquely you.

So, grab a notebook, take some time to reflect, and uncover the principles that make you tick. When you align your life with your core values, you’re not just living—you’re thriving.